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Expensive Penny: Do I Confront My Husband Over His Secret Investments for His Ex?


Expensive Penny,

My husband has a hidden funding account the place his beneficiaries are his ex-wife and son. I believe he opened this funding account whereas we have been married. Additionally, we’ve got an account the place the identical son is the beneficiary, together with the opposite youngsters of my husband. How can I cease and make it honest? 

My husband doesn’t know that I learn about his hidden funding. Do I seek the advice of first with a lawyer, or do I speak to my husband about his flawed motion? What steps do I’ve to take to be able to safeguard my funds?


Expensive G.,

The reply depends upon how a lot you belief your husband. Have been you shocked to study this funding account? Or does siphoning off investments right into a secret account seem to be par for the course with him?

In case your husband is reliable and is open with you about monetary issues, I’d begin with him. You don’t have to method this in full-blown confrontation mode. Inform him what you discovered, and ask him to clarify.

You say you assume he opened the funding account whereas the 2 of you have been married — however you don’t know this to be the case. If he truly opened the account whereas he was nonetheless married to his ex, maybe he was ordered to make her the beneficiary as a part of his divorce settlement. One other risk can be that he merely forgot to replace the beneficiary, which is definitely fairly widespread.

I elevate these as prospects as a result of most individuals aren’t precisely desperate to fork over extra money to their ex-spouses. Positive, he might be hiding cash in his ex-wife’s title. However typically the only rationalization is the right one.

Nevertheless, in case your husband has a sample of dishonesty or he refuses to debate monetary issues with you, then seek the advice of with an lawyer first. That received’t get you out of getting a troublesome dialog together with your husband, in fact. In the event you can’t belief your partner, I’d significantly query whether or not you need to keep on this marriage.

Even when your husband has a proof for this funding account that’s passable to you, it sounds such as you’re not speaking brazenly about cash. I can’t let you know the way to pretty divide property amongst your husband’s youngsters from the little info I’ve. (It’s not clear in your letter whether or not the opposite youngsters are yours as properly.) However the two of it’s best to meet with an property planning lawyer to assessment your beneficiary designations and wills.

The 2 of it’s best to every know concerning the different’s property and main bills. That doesn’t imply it is advisable to scrutinize each $12 Amazon buy the opposite particular person makes. However it’s best to ask your husband to go over any funding accounts and financial institution accounts every of you owns. Attempt to get within the behavior of reviewing the cash you’re spending and bringing in every month collectively. In case your husband refuses, contemplate {that a} main crimson flag.

Robin Hartill is a licensed monetary planner and a senior author at The Penny Hoarder. Ship your difficult cash inquiries to  or chat together with her in The Penny Hoarder Community.